British Military Officer Fitness Reports

• His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

• I would not breed from this Officer.

• This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.

• When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

• He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

• He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

• Technically sound, but socially impossible.

• This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

• This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

• When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

• Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

• She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

• He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

• This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

• In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

• The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

• Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

• This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

• Only occasionally wets himself under pressure.